Think (FIRST about INTENT) Before You Speak
Think before you speak. Have you ever been told that? It’s wise advice. When I coach people about being more effective in their communication, I remind them to FIRST figure out what you are trying to accomplish through a conversation. By establishing the INTENT of the conversation, the right words will form in your brain. And if the right words form in your brain, it is more likely that the right words will come out of your mouth and the wrong words will not. Simply put – Your communication mantra should be: 1st Mind (Intent), 2nd Body (Stance), 3rd Mouth (Words)
Example – Randy, please shut up and listen: A manager I was coaching a couple of years back, asked me to follow him around for a day to see if I could figure out why people didn’t want to work with him – (that’s the polite way of saying… they thought he was a jerk). So Randy and I went off to his first meeting. I asked Randy:
CNM: “So who called this meeting?”
RANDY: “The director we are meeting with”
CNM: “And what is the topic (INTENT) of this meeting?”
RANDY: “I have no idea”
CNM – to myself: “OK then, this is going to be good!”
Do you know what Randy did? He sat down in the director’s office and started talking! And TALKED… And TALKED… and TALKED… For 20 minutes, he hijacked the conversation and did not let the director get a word in. Finally, in frustration, the director said, “Randy! I asked you here today to discuss…”
CNM – to myself: “Oh, thank goodness she finally stopped him!”
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