Archives For Trust

Last time I wrote about forgiving yourself, so you can move forward. Now I’d like to talk about the power of forgiving others (even before they ask you to forgive them).

The word FORGIVENESS, is not one we hear a lot in business. I believe it is an essential character trait in a LEADER – being forgiving.

Working with other people is fraught with mistakes, unkind words (slights), misunderstandings, and one-ups-manship (being taken advantage of). As a Leader we need to learn how to ‘right these wrongs’ so that we can move on and continue to work well with others.

prodigal-son-greek-1024x485 My faith – Christianity – teaches a radical approach to forgiveness. Our teaching is beautifully depicted in the Parable of the Prodigal Son. The story is found in the Gospel of St. Luke 15:11-31.

A young man insisted his father give him his inheritance now. He took the money and ran (literally). After squandering his inheritance and finding himself wallowing in the mud with the pigs (what a symbol of his transgre[……]

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I LOVE springtime and summer because I can spend hours in my garden making things grow. This year I took it up a notch by adding two new garden areas in my back yard. In addition to my English-style garden with  five sections of flowers, I dug out a large area in a corner next to the house and deck. 

GROW model of giving feedback

After clearing the grass I planted three raised beds along with three large whiskey barrel planters filled with a variety of vegetables and herbs. I also added blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries on the other side of the deck. It’s so fun to watch everything grow!

Maybe that’s why I like the GROW Model for giving feedback so much! (If you missed it, you can find the first post on Feedback as FeedFORWARD here. And be sure to sign up for future updates on the sidebar!)

Feedback as Feed-FORWARD is all about growth. Rather than focusing on what’s wrong with an employee’s performance the goal is to help them grow as persons and improve their performance for the better. It’s[……]

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Imagine a day where you received absolutely NO FEEDBACK.  Not really possible.  Your brain is constantly receiving feedback – feedback from your stomach (time for breakfast), feedback from your feet (this bathroom floor is cold!), feedback from your spouse (don’t forget to pick up Kristen after school today).


Your brain is a lover of feedback.  Without a feedback system you and your body couldn’t even complete the simplest task.  But even though we are wired to receive feedback, most leaders I meet struggle with the best way to give feedback.

My second blog series summarizes best practices in giving feedback.  As with the last series I’ll summarize the best tips and tools I’ve found on giving feedback.  Your job:  to practice and make these tools your own.

The Purpose of Giving Feedback

Answer the following question:  Why should you as a manager give feedback?

While you’re thinking about that… let me tell you a story of the worst feedback I ever got:

One company I wor[……]

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Last week I re-read The Hobbit in anticipation of the movie launch. The reading was delightful and brought back many memories of images I had created over 30 years ago as I first read the epic tale. 

Team Building Hobbit Style

In the re-reading, I found many great analogies not only to effective teams, but also to leadership in a team enviroment. Thorin & Company plus Bilbo (and Gandalf at times) making up this illustrious team.

There are at least 5 lessons we can learn from The Hobbit about team building and leadership:

1. Choosing the Team

Why did Gandalf choose Bilbo? One lesson of effective teams found in this tale is membership. Why was Bilbo asked to join the group as the burglar? Why not another dwarf? Exactly, a 14th dwarf was not needed, but instead someone with skills differing. Those skills and talents unfolded as the book progressed – many not being revealed until the end. Several, Bilbo didn’t even know he had.

Was Gandalf a part of the team? Gandalf can be viewed as the team cham[……]

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We all know what a financial bank account is.  We make deposits into it and build up a reserve from which we can make withdrawals when we need to.  An Emotional Bank Account is a metaphor that describes the amount of trust that’s been built up in a relationship…If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build up a reserve.  Your trust toward me becomes higher, and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to.  I can even make mistakes and that trust level, that emotional reserve, will compensate for it

Stephen R. Covey on The Emotional Bank Account

How do we build Trust?  The Trust Bank Account

By looking at the different facets of Trust we get an idea of how we can build Trust – as Stephen R. Covey (the senior) would put it – How do we make deposits?

Trust-full relationships - How do you build trust?

Sincerewe both mean what we say; There are no hidden agendas between us

If we notice hidden agendas or question another’s[……]

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Speed of Trust“There is one thing that is common to every individual, relationship, team, family, organization, nation, economy and civilization throughout the world — one thing which, if removed, will destroy the most powerful government, the most successful business, the most thriving economy, the most influential leadership, the greatest friendship, the strongest character, the deepest love.  On the other hand, if developed and leveraged, that one thing has the potential to create unparalleled success and prosperity in every dimension of life.  That one thing is trust.” — Stephen M.R. Covey

 What is Trust?

Trust is the critical element of a relationship.  As Stephen M. R. Covey (the junior) puts it… Lack of trust destroys; Presence of trust creates.  My favorite definition of Trust is ‘firm reliance’.  As leaders we must ask ourselves – how would I describe the bond between the people I work with and myself?  Is it Full of Trust?  When I work with others – do we seem to give each other the benefit of the doubt – or is there constant doubt and questioning.  Would people say you are credible or question the accuracy of your statements?  Do others know we mean what we say, or do others always check for a hidden agenda?  When we hit a roadblock in a project, does the team seamlessly adjust to overcome, or does the roadblock stop the team in its track – needing crystal clarity to proceed.

iStock_hands joined Medium

At work, we want relationships where we can firmly rely on each other, so that even when the inevitable problems and issues arise, we can continue to adapt and move forward.


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